Wizard Weygint's Popcorn Recipe

One cannot live on handicapping alone, so when you need a sustenance break to recharge the 'capping batteries, the Wiz recommends implementing his popcorn recipe.

For the most part, WW is a bungling buffoon in the kitchen. On the basketball court he moves like a cross between Baryshnikov and George Gervin, but in the kitchen he's reminiscent of one Clem Kadiddlehopper. Thank the culinary gods that he was blessed with the ability to make epic batches of popcorn.

Over the years, the Wizard has found the popcorn making process, from production to consumption, to work as an aphrodisiac. His lovely and demure wife, Miz Wiz, will readily admit that experiencing his "popcorn process" for the first time lit her carnal fires, and elevated WW from "possible boyfriend" status to the "he's gonna be my man" category.

Now, without further ado, Wizard Weygint brings you his previously secret popcorn recipe:

Ingredients: Jolly Time yellow popcorn, powdered brewer's yeast, salt, canola oil, Mongolian fire oil.

1. Use a pressure cooker (without the pressure element) or a similar sized popping rig. This is critical as we are striving for quick, ultra-hot heating action in order to minimize moisture and promote hulking hulls.
2. Cut a standard brown paper grocery bag to about .25 its original size and use it as your "bowl."
3. Put a 3-1 ratio of canola oil and Mongolian Fire oil (or whatever hot pepper oil that you can procure) into the pressure cooker and crank the heat up to max level. Add a single kernel, no lieutenants, and wait til it pops. During this waiting period you should position the popcorn, salt, bag, and brewer's yeast in a manner that will allow easy access during the popping process.
4. After the test kernel pops, immediately add the corn. Wiz is from the old school of eyeing the popcorn/oil ratio so all he can tell you is try and make sure each kernel is coated with oil.
5. Keep the lid off as long as possible, until the popping action threatens to spit the kernels all over. Remember, a big key is to keep ol' man moisture at bay; the same place we like ol' man vig in the handicapping realm.
6. As soon as the popcorn fills about half the cooker, take the lid off. This will promote moisture escape, and by this time enough corn is in the cooker to keep subsequent "pops" from throwing kernels about the room.
7. When the popcorn approaches overflow level, quickly deposit half of it into the bag, and reposition the cooker on the fire.
8. Quickly, yet gently, pat the kernels with the sides of the bag to absorb excess moisture, and then sprinkle on the brewer's yeast and salt. Be generous with that yeast for it packs a nutritious and oh-so-flavorful punch.
9. Get back to the cooker ASAP and repeat step #7 if necessary. If a smallish batch, it won't threaten to overflow so just wait until the corn ceases popping, and empty the remaining contents into the bag. Like before, pat the kernels down, then add salt and brewer's yeast.
10. Serve as soon as possible after production.

**WW finds cranberry juice a wonderful compliment to his savory kernels.**

**If you prefer more of a gourmet flair to your batch, use white Jolly Time instead of the yellow.**